The truth is: I'm fucking freaking out.
It could be PMS. Just 'cause it's easier to blame something that everybody says "oh, ok, I understand, hormones". Another truth? Nobody truly understands it, it's just that's better to say you do, it's women-bitching shield. Which leads me to another truth: the P from PMS is no longer appliccable to my condition, so I'm afraid I can't use this as an excuse anymore. Besides, I've never used all this monthly hormonal mayhem to justify my paranoias.
And everything is so impermanent nowadays. The life you know may change in a second and you'll certainly be caught short-handed, and then you do what every human being is supposed to do: cry, curse and finally adapt to the new reality. No choice, no questions asked. "Hey, do you accept this change?". I'd say yes if the change is about getting rich and being able to travel all around the world. I'd say no if the change is about being sent to the middle of a jungle to live from watching birds. You know, I've thought of more exciting things to do with my life, no offense to the birds.
I've always welcomed changes. I've always thought that they can turn things around, even when, at first, they may look like a Boogie Man. I've always considered them necessary. Changes in the career, wow, love them. And I've always coped with changes in a relatively non-freaking-out way. But, let's face it, or, even better, let me face it: this year IS a change. Everything's been so different from everything I've lived. Then, another truth: I'm afraid the next changes will be difficult to handle. And I know I can handle them, as I've said before, I can always handle them, it's just a matter of following the steps: cry-curse-adapt. And you may say "come on, you can do it!". But it's not only about work. It's about a whole bunch of things.
Reality will make me work at a time I'd rather stay alone.
Finally, the last truth for this very long text that no one will read: even though I'm freaking out...
"I never knew, I never knew
But it's alright...
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright"
Hopefully.
3 comentários:
Eu li, bobona! :-P
E acho tão natural o medinho... Mas, como sabemos, tudo vai dar certo, né? Uma hora dá, a gente sabe (e tem de acreditar, é claro!). Beijo, gatona!
i read it!
I read it too =D
And you're not alone in your dreams (or should I say "nightmares") of changes. It's happening with everybody - me, you (yes, me too), the whole world (I hate to talk the word "world"... I feel myself as a Texan, [lol]).
I need also to press the "reset" button. Extremely afraid 'bout the side-effects but... you know? We must live. 'cause we have been spendin' too many time crying and cursing and livin' a goddamned life for everybody except us.
So, keep on the tracks, accept in a fine way this year, its possibilities and changes, your PMS or EMS (E from "ever") and be happy. Always.
Kind regards from the Worklover =D
PS: Birds, today, just to be eaten.
*POOF*
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