Dear diary

This is my motto. It has been in the last days and will probably be forever, even though I don't believe in the concept of things lasting forever - also applicable to sentences. The phone has just rung, it was one of my brother's fans calling him. It's 11pm, he's just 16 and he has girls calling him late at night on MY phone when they can reach him on his cell - that one I have no idea how he can afford. I'm a real bitch when I want to. I just say that he is home, but she should know that calling after 10pm is very inappropriate. Sorry, can't call him now, he's in his bedroom. The girl mumbles something that I couldn't care less and I just hang up. Feeling better after being a bitch with a 16, how nice of me.

Today I felt like saying this "shut the fuck up" sentence to two of my colleagues. I've been sad. Really sad. People know it, not because I've told them my reasons, but because it's pretty obvious - DUH, haven't you seen my half smiles lately? My please-don't-ask-me-anything-or-i'm-gonna-cry face? I'm sure they, who see me every blessed day of my blessed life, from 7 to 9 almost non-non-non-stop-now-please saw the non smiles and the face. Then I have to hear something like "last Friday you were just horrible, your hair was messy like I'd never seen before and you were looking so seriously to the student I thought you'd kill him". THANK YOU, my darling. It really helped me to feel better, very thoughtful of you. I was looking seriously to the student because he was telling me a serious story. What should have I done? Play some maracas while the man was talking about his past to me? "You had a very sad childhood and felt like sharing that with me, but who cares, let's speak English and sing Roxette".

So my hair was messy, I was horrible and she is one of the only ones who knows the reason of this shit. How about a big nice cup of shut the fuck up for me, heh?! Then I have to hear from another person the most ridiculous sentence that people have created. A fila anda. Line? What fucking line is this? Pega na minha fila e balança? Shake it real hard, babe. Do you know something? Has your brilliant and relevant opinion on this matter - that you just suppose what is - been requested? The answer is a glowing and shiny NO.

That's what I say. There are no limits for human stupidity. Stupidity is the only thing that stretches boundaries and goes further - much further than it should. I think those teenagers who WrItE LiKe ThIs and say cliches such as "eu causo na balada" or "sua inveja é a força do meu sucesso" are happy. Truly happy. For them, a fila anda e se você me odeia, pega senha. Isn't it just unfair? That no sentence, no motto, no cliche can help me feeling better? Things could be simpler. I could be simpler.